I have never had the desire to find out what exactly it is a godly woman is or does. I figured if I just kept getting drawing closer to God (on my own) I would become that woman, without all those pesky biblical cultural walls holding me in.
But during this time of stillness, this time of deprogramming myself of all the cultural nuances
America has embedded into my
understanding of scripture, womanhood, and myself, I feel strangely drawn to
the women of the Bible.
I want to know them, their struggles, the way they interacted with Our Lord, the way they interacted with men, what God spoke to them, and HOW God spoke to them.
My own healing journey started with women. I thought I could be healed in an emotional vacuum, just me and God hammering things out. But, as damaged as I was, God wanted to bring me into His community and allow me to be healed there.
My journey has been full of women who have come alongside me to prop me up when I was falling under the weight of my sin and the sorrow of my past.
Women who spoke truth into my life time and time again, and loved me, even when I foolishly refused their advice.
Women who showed me what real, confident womanhood is, getting rid of the crutches I had made of men and my own codependency.
Women who showed me that My Maker is My Husband (Isaiah 54:5), and I can trust Him and He will never lead me astray or have ulterior motives for our relationship. He just wants to love me unconditionally. No strings.
These women changed my life and my direction. They encouraged me to grow in the Lord, praying for me constantly, and modeling what it looks like to be a strong woman in a culture that constantly fails to show women how to be real women.
I owe much of my spiritual, emotional, and psychological health to these women and their husbands (for those who are married) for showing me the way a real godly man treats a woman, how he pursues her with pure intentions, and how he always leads her toward God, even if it opens him up to being hurt.
I have never felt more healthy or more secure as a woman of God. My identity is in My Maker, My Husband, the Lord of my life, and I will never have to go looking for it elsewhere.
Just to specify, the women I am talking about are all my ladies at Calvary Community Church, who have been the closest friends I have ever had. I love you all.