Thursday, November 6, 2014

Consenting to Pain

“Did you ever say yes to a pleasure? Oh my friends, then you also said yes to all pain. All things are linked, entwined, in love with one another.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

I meditated on this Nietzsche quote as I sat on my yoga mat the other morning. I found it while flicking almost mindlessly through the goodies on my tumblr feed. It stopped me suddenly. 

I say yes to pleasure all the time: loving someone, investing in a relationship, arranging succulents, writing poetry, journaling, long talks, getting excited about simple pleasures. I consent to beauty and pleasure. I was, however, struggling with pain when it presented itself in my life. An unmet expectation, miscommunication, a change of plans, feeling unloved. I had not consented to this pain. I wanted vulnerability and deep relationship without the pain that inevitably came with them. 

As I sat on my yoga mat, breathing deeply, letting the sunlight flicker through the windows, I decided to consent to pain, to embrace the pain that comes with pleasure. I want to feel deeply, love deeply, live deeply. I can only do that if I know I will be hurt and consent to the pain I will feel if I decide to invest my time and love into someone/something. I will be hurt and disappointed, but I will not die. I will continue to love deeply and intentionally and be hurt in the process. I think it's worth it. 

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