Sunday, August 18, 2013

Church on the Mat

I have not felt like myself lately.
A little less secure.
A little smaller.

Today I went to church.

Maybe you think of a building, a gathering, a congregation.

When I say "church," I mean I went to a warm upstairs room, the sun shining through the windows, sat on my yoga mat and conversed with the Divine, surrounded by other seekers doing the same. I found my flow, moving with the Spirit, praying without words.

The instructor talked to me afterward. I told her I was only in town for a few more weeks, visiting family.

She laughed. "We all think we're enlightened...until we visit family."
Tell me about it, sister.
"We lose ourselves, our patience, and need to be reminded of who we are. We are not who we were with them before, but we revert back. It's hard to hold onto who you are now... So, I understand. Everybody feels this way sometimes."

She took the words right out of my mouth.

I haven't seen my parents for three years, haven't grown and changed with them, haven't been able to share my new experiences and revelations with them. It's very strange feeling like such a different person, then suddenly shrinking back into my old self because that's who I was the last time they were around. This has definitely been an opportunity to seek peace and determine how to remain "myself" in the midst of emotional confusion. Lots of meditation. Lots of yoga. Lots of nature walks. Reminders of things that never change: God.

I love my crazy family. We've all got our quirks and things to work through. But I'm taking advice from The Beatles: Let it be.

1 comment:

  1. Never stop talking to God. Never stop listening. He is our Father, why wouldn't he want to talk to us? Remember that.