Friday, February 22, 2013

A Blog Without An Appropriate Title

When I came back from my six month spiritual journey in Kolkata, India three months ago, I wanted to get a job, travel the United States visiting intentional Christian communities, and visit my extended family in Michigan.

God had other plans, plans I did not necessarily agree were the best way of living out a life in Christ. But He's God, so I figured He knew better.

I felt God telling me to not get a job, not use my car, and keep my schedule open and available for anyone who may need some help. Psh. God, you so crazy. But I did it. I stayed at my kitchen table, studying, digging in to the Word of God, into the cultural and historical context of Biblical books, and really focusing on being conformed to the image Christ, waiting, always waiting, for God to open the doors He wanted me to walk through.

Doors of opportunity began opening, doors that would otherwise be closed if I had a job or if I were traveling across the country.

For the last month and a half I have been able to serve my brother (I live with my three younger siblings) by being his accountability workout partner and making his five meals every day. Every day. This has resulted in conversations we have never been able to have before.

I have been available to babysit for people I've never met because they had an emergency.

I have spent the last three days with my friend, helping her with her four week old baby and her two nephews who she has been taking care of.

I was able to lend my car to friends because one of their cars was stolen. I have been given back the car now and feel it is God's timing because just now I need a vehicle to get to the Justice Conference and other meetings that no one else is available to take me to. I'm not sure what God's plans are for the car, but I'm keeping the options open.

Last night, I was able to host A Night In Chains where friends were able to come over and pray for persecuted Christians around the world and write letters to our spiritual Brothers and Sisters who are imprisoned for their faith.

Scattered throughout that time I have been available to meet with and encourage friends going through rough patches, meet new friends and connections who are also interested in intentional Christian community, and have my faith and my view of God stretched, challenging my worldview and how God's Spirit works.

There are a lot of 'I's up there, but it's not me who has been able to do these things, but the power of God's Spirit working through me, opening the doors and my eyes to see the needs directly in front of me, to love those right in front of me, to serve those around me, to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I do not feel like I am supposed to get a "job" but that my new job is to love and serve, to be available for anyone anytime, and to build up community around me.

Needless to say, serving and loving doesn't pay the bills. But I just had this weird conversation with God and He said He's going to provide for me. An image of my friend with her four week old baby came to my mind. She meets all her baby's needs, not because the baby has done anything deserving or has worked up to it or is doing everything her mother wants. She meets her baby's needs because she loves her with a passionate, unending, devoted love. God brought me that image to show me that I am not working for His providence. I am living the life I am living simply because I love Him. He will provide for me simply because He loves me.

His providence comes in all sorts of ways, through random donations, tax refunds, my siblings buying my food, friends giving me money for babysitting or odd jobs (without me asking or even hinting about money because I will totally do all that for free).

Today I got a bill in the mail for car insurance, a phone bill, and a medical bill.  I looked at them all and said, "Ok God, what do you want me to do about this?" Sometimes I feel He tells me to keep praying about it, other times He says to tell people. So, I want to put the need out there to you all.

If you feel this life is something you want to be a part of, something you want to support, and you believe in the life of love and service God has called me to, I want to ask you to partner with me, help me to live this life to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I don't have a timeline. I don't know how long the need will last. It could be a few months, it could be years. But I do feel the life of service and intentional community my heart is burdened for is going to take significant time.

Here are some suggestions:

You can donate monthly be providing for one of the many things I feel God is telling me to maintain.
- Phone: $30 month
- Car insurance: $60 month
- Gas for car: Estimated $75 (depending on gas prices and how often I actually have to drive)
- Rent on the house I share with my siblings: $400

You can also just pray about how you feel led to be part of this and then give what you feel led to give or however God leads you to participate.

Many people reading this may be thinking, "Who does this girl thinks she is, asking us for money when she is perfectly capable of getting a job and supporting herself?"

And yes, I am perfectly physically and mentally capable of holding a job. But sometimes God asks us to do crazy things that seem backwards to the world so He can get all the glory. I cannot do any of this myself without a job. God HAS to provide, and therefore the glory and the praise goes ALL to Him.  He brings me low, makes me weak, so He can be shown strong and wonderful and beautiful, the God He is. This is not something I would have EVER planned for my own life, and sometimes I'm itching to get a job and support myself, but He keeps me where I am, low and incapable of providing for myself so I become totally dependent on Him and His Body of believers who He has raised up for purposes such as this.

If you do not feel led to partner with me, to support me in this lifestyle, please don't.
If you do feel led, please do.
If you feel led to pray, please pray. I need that desperately, for people to pray that I do not become distracted by the world or my own desires, but that I keep my eyes and heart wrapped up in God's dream and His heart.

I am just a person, so there isn't any 501c3 or tax deductions, but there is the body of Christ and there is the blessing of giving and serving. If you would like to mail a check, here's my address: 4401 W. Wahalla Ln. Glendale, AZ 85308

Thanks for listening to my craziness. 

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